Brotherly Love

When, over a month ago, we first arrived in India, I was astounded. Of course, my awe was a result of an entirely novel and culturally different place: new experiences came at every turn. New faces, new foods, new smells, the whole package was so new. I remember being absolutely delighted by the openness of male homosexuality; everywhere I looked, men were holding hands, arms were wrapped around waists, and tall figures were sitting on laps with long legs intertwined. With a real absence of women in the commercial and street life, I hoped that the same tolerance extended to the homosexual women that appeared to stay predominantly behind the closed doors of their homes.

Oh the never-ending foolishness of foreigners….does it ever end?

India is a land of brotherly love. My eyes did not deceive me: men were certainly showing outward and blatant physical affection. But I quickly learned that my assumptions were created by a land of minimal public affection in the land I am from. When you see two grown men holding hands, walking down the street, what do you think? If you are from a Western culture, you may have made a similar, and equally incorrect, deduction.

In India, and in Ethiopia too, men who are friends hold hands. They cuddle. They snuggle. They drape their bodies around each other while sitting. Public affection is commonplace, personal boundaries are minute, social stigmas around homosexuality are different. How different? I can't profess to be an expert, or to have any real knowledge.

Does it have something to do with the extreme sexual repression that permeates the male population of India? Pre-marital sex is absolutely taboo and match-making services (many now use online services) are a popular topic in everyday conversation. Women rarely walk the streets unattended and there seems to be limited opportunities for unsupervised interactions between the sexes. All of this, combined with the staggering and devastating numbers of female infanticide, sati, and deference shown to men, means that the gender balance is

highly skewed. Perhaps some of the physical affection displayed by men is a substitute for the oftentimes unattainable female partner? Perhaps there is indeed a large population of homosexual men? I don't have answers to any of these questions, only speculations.

Now, I can't speak to the actual prevelance of male (or female) homosexuality in southeast Asia or Africa. I didn't seek out this community, or see much to support the likelihood of its widespread existence. My usual course of action would be to "ask google" and fill in this blog with research information; however, the deficit of

internet access here means that I will have to save any theories for the future. Maybe the next trip.

Or maybe you know?